Book 20 of 80
I feel like when I get halfway, I want to throw a party. But really that’s just because I love to throw parties. I already have a vision for this party — I’ll have different dishes from the different countries I’ve been too — all labeled (with my label maker) on top of that country’s flag.
Matt just said, “You’re not thinking this through. You’re going to serve forty different dishes?”
I replied with, “What’s the national cuisine of Estonia?”
Matt said,”I don’t know, but why don’t you just pop on down to one of Portland’s many Estonian groceries.”
My reply, “Maybe I could call the consulate.”
Matt said, “Sure. Do that. Can I golf that day instead?”
I wrote into my vows that Matt must: Love, Honor, Cherish, and HUMOR me until death. He’s become fairly adept at the last one.
So, here we are at book 20 and I’m going to Holland. The Netherlands. The home of the Dutch. And if you go to Holland’s actual webpage, Johannes Vermeer’s painting of The Girl with the Pearl Earring is front and center. So, maybe they’re pretty proud of that guy. It’s even called the Dutch Mona Lisa. But can’t you say that about any iconic painting of a woman? I’m going to paint a picture of myself, smiling only with my eyes (which I learned from Tyra), and I’m gonna call it: Milwaukie’s Mona Lisa. Ah, who am I kidding? I’m pretty sure there is a stripper at the Acropolis who goes by Milwaukie Mona Lisa.
So, Tracy Chevalier wrote a fictionalized account about the creation of the famous Dutch painting and titled it, surprisingly, The Girl with the Pearl Earring. And that’s where I’m headed next.
(Side note: I just deleted a paragraph that I really wanted to keep, but after considering my audience (my mom…and any wayward student readers) I thought I should probably err on the safe side. But Matt and I came up with the best actress name and title for the porno version of this book. It’s a tad bit obvious, but hilarious nonetheless.)