Reasons why Elliott will need therapy
So, I have a confession.
Someone sent Elliott birthday money in the mail. And I spent it on books.
I could give you lots of justifications for why it was perfectly acceptable for me to take the cash and buy books instead of opening up my child a savings account for college — or something noble like that. The fact remains that a family member of mine was generous and courteous enough to give my son money and I shamelessly stole it.
I didn’t even buy books for him. I bought Estonia and Ukraine. I was planning ahead.
At any rate, I was going to keep this whole thing a secret, but this is the conversation I had at dinner tonight with my mom.
Me: Have you read my blog yet?
Mom: No. [pause] I will though.
Me: Yeah, okay. Oh. By the way, _________ sent me money for Elliott’s birthday. Wasn’t that sweet?
Mom: [no beat] You spent it on books didn’t you?
Me: I didn’t even say anything.
Mom: You didn’t have to. I know you. You should blog about that. And it’s not like you need more books; you certainly don’t need to buy more…if you would just return those books to the library that you’ve had since college…
Me: [Blank stare]
So, mom, I’m blogging about stealing from Elliott. As soon as I open the boy a savings account, I promise to reimburse him. We’re gonna view the birthday money as a temporary loan. Am I the only parent who has done this? Come on people, fess up.